


What Could Be

by CoffeeJay



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Heartache, Heracles is a romantic sap, Human Names Used, Light Angst, Love, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Slice of Life, So is the author, excessive use of metaphors, just so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 01:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13376847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeJay/pseuds/CoffeeJay
Summary: Poor Heracles is pining.





	What Could Be

Heracles clenched and unclenched his hands around his coffee mug as he tried to still the rampant beating of his heart.  He was only on his first cup, so he certainly couldn’t blame the caffeine for the way he fidgeted in his seat by the window.  No, he knew well the reason for his heart’s unrest.

The reason was currently on the other side of the glass, following the garden path towards Heracles’ front door, stopping every few paces to admire a newly bloomed flower, or to scratch a friendly cat behind the ears.  

Ah, Kiku, Heracles sighed.  His heart wobbled as a vase on a ledge, threatening to spill over.  He knew well the reason indeed.  Kiku, the man who brought joy to his silence, the one who inspired him to try a little harder, his best friend--Kiku was the reason for the fluttering inside him, and Heracles feared that the longing would never be quelled. 

He yearned to go and meet Kiku out in the garden, to marvel together with him at the beauty of life blossoming all around them; to, like with water burbling out of a vibrant stream, cup Kiku’s face in his hands and bring him to his lips--

But he couldn’t.  Even if his legs didn’t feel as though they were made of granite, he couldn’t.  He didn’t dare tamper with the boundaries of their relationship, which had long since been carved out.  To take the path of something more than simple companionship would be entirely foreign to the both of them.  No matter how Heracles craved more intimacy, more depth, the comfort he found in the way things were far outweighed the small hope of the way things could be.  The terror of changing the shape of their bond into something Kiku might find ugly, unworthy, unsettling or uncalled-for greatly overshadowed any hope he dared harbor.

Yet his heart still whispered, be brave, take the risk, take the risk.

Heracles remembered one of the marble statues sitting in his studio.  Finished or unfinished, he didn’t know, but whatever it was, it was beautiful.  Already it was a masterpiece, yet his very soul urged him to keep carving until he unearthed something even more magnificent.

Once made deeper, Heracles had found, the lines could never again be made shallow, and for better or for worse, the change would remain.  How many sculptures had he ruined by believing them lacking when they had in fact been perfect?  Still, he wondered how something could truly be perfect if it left him with such an ache in his heart--but wasn’t love a perfect ache?

And now Kiku was waving at him through the window, breathing joy and life and hope into the air with nothing but the upturn of his lips.  Heracles had never counted himself a coward, but today he felt like a fool.  Did he dare meddle with perfection?  The slightest change could bring ruin to something irreplaceable, yet the slightest change could transcend perfection.  

He cursed his artist’s heart.  Satisfaction would elude him unless he acted, he knew this.  His heart would not rest until he carved deeper into it.  Was he a fool, then?  

Kiku was at his door now, and in a second, Heracles would be, too.  He would do it, he thought.  He had to.  He couldn’t stand another restless hour of wondering what masterpiece might be uncovered if he just searched deeper.

Yes, he would do it.

He would open the door, and take Kiku by the hand, and look him in the eyes and tell him that he loved him.

He would do it.

He had to make a change.

“Kiku, I--”

He couldn’t.

“I was wondering if I could get you some tea.”

His heart sighed, the ache remained, the yearning had not been quenched, but Kiku was still there, and his smile was the same.  

Until Heracles could find it within himself to carve a new line into the stone, he could only deepen the ones that were there already.

He could get Kiku some tea.  Perhaps it wasn’t “I love you”--

\--But, then again, wasn’t it?


End file.
